After 6 cycles of chemotherapy my Doctors decided to bring my surgery date forward to the 6th October instead of 17th November leaving me only 2 weeks to get my head around it. I had known for some time it was inevitable I was to have a mastectomy but somehow my life went on fast forward and what was to follow was a rollercoaster of emotions.
How would I look? How would I feel emotionally? What could I wear or not be able to wear as the case maybe? I had never had surgery before so even the thought of the anaesthetic was daunting. Family and friends were a huge support but no-one can really understand how it feels to lose a breast unless they have been through it themselves, and still everyone deals with it in their own way.
When I felt down I would say to myself “I don’t need it to see with, eat with, hear with or laugh with” and at other times I would repeat “there are so many other people who are worse off”. And when I really wanted to put things into perspective I would remember that this operation was about to save my life and I had so many things to look forward to.
So when the day arrived, I have to be honest, I was petrified but I’m not quite sure why? Fear of the unknown I guess as this was all new to me. However for anyone who is approaching their surgery date let me assure you how wonderful the recovery nurses can be. My nurse never left my side. I barely remember falling asleep but woke to her smiling face, holding my hand and stroking my head, she never left my side for over 2 hours after the op.
I was offered discharge on the same day! However I chose to stay in for 1 night to recuperate a little and was home the following morning. With 2 x ½ metre long tubes inserted into my side they were to follow me round for the next 5 days. A little uncomfortable, and restricting but this just allowed me to get full rest and allow the healing process to take place.
Two weeks later I am tube free and pain free and out and about. My results are back and show that the cancer has been successfully removed and I am happy to be alive and feeling well even though I am about to start again on a 6 cycle course of chemotherapy. I will remain upbeat knowing that my doctors are being so thorough. I coped with it before so I will cope with it again. After all I have the rest of my life to look forward to. What could be more important?
An edited version of this blog will be published in the Warrington Guardian on November 3rd 2011.
Look out or the O'Neill's Hair Team Skydive story featured in this weeks edition on page 4.
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