Nothing Short of a Miracle

I am oozing with excitement but with an inner calm that I’m not sure where it’s come from and who cares is all I can say, I love the new me!

On Monday 11th February I left Carl’s side at the hospital to go down to theatre.  Walking into the pre-op room, I climbed upon the bed with tears of fear and apprehension wetting my ghastly gown that tied at the back. 

A nurse came to comfort me but at the same time inserted a cannula ready for the anaesthetic. When the surgeon arrived he repeated how he couldn’t guarantee clear margins and whilst drawing a huge A4 size shape around the redness in my skin on my chest, I took both of his hands in mine and begged him to do his best. 

I could tell from his expression that he wanted what was best for me and that he would do whatever he could to try and get it all.

At 9.35am I must have drifted off to sleep unaware and woke in the recovery room relieved it was all over. 

Within an hour or so I was back on the ward, high as a kite and pressing that morphine button to enjoy that floating ‘off ya face feeling’ for as long as I could. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve tried anything even remotely like that so I thought, bugger it; I’m making the most of this after party on the Swinley ward. 

And then I slept and slept and slept some more.
The following day I threw up a few times…had a little too much morphine needed and then something struck me.  I was in no pain. 

I looked at the clock, 9.35am exactly 24 hours since I was wheeled into surgery and I was in no pain. 

I hate being sick so I kicked my habit there and then and pushed the morphine machine to the end of my bed.  “Mrs O’Neill, you must use that for at least a few more days yet” the nurse said.

Stubborn as a mule I left the machine at the end of my bed and as the sickly feeling wore off and the day floated by I sat and waited for the pain to start, but nothing happened.  I was in no pain. 

The surgeon paid me a visit and was utterly gobsmacked as he caught me walking down the corridor, tubes coming out of my side and drain bags in hand.

The surgeon, the nurses, the staff, my friends and family could not believe how I could have had a major operation, moving not only skin but a muscle from my back and attaching it to my chest and be walking around the next day pain free. 

Needless to say I was allowed home the day after and haven’t taken a pain killer since the day I pushed that morphine machine away.
There is no explanation, no reason or understanding from my medical team as to why I was and still am in no pain. 

I believe wholeheartedly my Brazil trip played a huge role and my prayers.  My commitment to this belief and the trust I put into John of God.

  I never claimed he would cure me after one visit to Brazil but something has happened and I cannot see how it can be anything else.  It’s kind of like a way of showing me proof that this stuff works. 

And so the story continues…
I arrived home to two envelopes from Wigan hospital, an appointment for Friday 22nd Feb and another for 20th March. 

The first being my check up to see if I was healing ok and the second for the results I assumed so last Friday I set of cool as a cucumber to see my surgeon to show off my amazing healing skin and to discuss the miracle post op. 

As I entered the small clinical room I chatted away to the Breast care nurse about my Brazil trip and how I’d waved off HMS Illustrious from the Albert Docks a few days previous, only 1 week after my surgery. 

She could hardly believe it.  And then the surgeon walked in and I will never forget the look on his face as he beamed this enormous smile in my direction.  My results had come early.

“Melanie, Melanie, Melanie, I have great news for you.  The margins were clear, all clear.  All the margins.  We got it all.  There is no evidence that there is any disease left in your body”.

Carl had to sit down and I did the opposite I jumped out of my seat and flung my arms around him and to my surprise he hugged me right back. 

I don’t know who was more relieved…well me of course, but his actions made me realise that I honestly don’t think he thought he would get it all. 

But he did as I asked, he did his best.  He took more skin than he anticipated he could and he got every last bit. 

I only wish he had stopped the conversation there but he went on to say how this type of cancer has a habit of coming back but at least now with no evidence of disease I have hope and must remain optimistic. 

So although he gave me that seed I refuse to plant it! I choose to believe it’s all gone and this time it’s for good and it aint coming back. 

The pain free two weeks I’ve encountered are no short of a miracle, so now I believe that miracles, they do really happen. 

Even the fact that I wasn’t expecting my results that day is some sort of miracle as had I have known I probably would have been physically sick that morning. 

I believe my trip to Brazil has helped me no end, that everyone who prayed for me, to which ever God they believe in, their prayers were heard and answered.

I believe there is a greater power than us that guides and assists us through life and that we only have to go within to find it.

I planned for the good and the bad news and I got the good.  I am embracing the moment and continue to pray that I remain healthy, feeling nothing but gratitude for the journey I am on and am able to share this with others. 

Sharing my blogs and giving hope to others, if only temporarily, when they feel like they have none is my intention now.

  I am on the mend, living in the moment and looking forward to a bright future filled with love and happiness I hope. 

And if everything were to fall apart tomorrow I am still undeniably grateful that I got the chance to be me again, no cancer, no fear just extremely blessed. 

I lost a dear friend last week who was taken from us far too soon, without no warning.  The shock and sadness of her loss is immense but it only confirms how short life can be and how we must make every moment count, like my friend always did. 

She would have been thrilled to bits with my good news.  She watches over me now along with her loved ones, a remarkable woman and one of the funniest people I know.

 I write this blog in her honour. I was truly blessed to have known her. x I