HOW Martin Fowler has managed to live with his mother for so long is beyond me.

Pauline has to be among the most bitter and twisted biddies in the country (EastEnders).

The young greengrocer spent most of Monday's episode silently fuming and finally erupted, delivering a few home truths to his mum, whose bitchiness has succeeded in actually making me side with Sonia - something I never thought was possible.

Rebecca has slightly too much attitude for a small child (have you seen that condescending look she gives Sonia every time she sees her?) and this can be blamed on her evil grandmother.

I can see her turning into a mini version of Pauline if they aren't separated soon. Eek!

I spent days wondering where I'd seen Owen before then all of a sudden it came to me. He used to be in Press Gang! That made me feel quite old and I wondered where it all went wrong from him. Such a nice boy turned into a violent alcoholic.

Over in Hollyoaks, I wasn't altogether sure about Sam's escape from hospital. He only seemed to run for 30 seconds before breaking into a casual walk. There can't have been much of an effort to chase after him.

Sam used to be such a nice-looking young boy. Now he is a shaven-headed crim' prepared to threaten his own sister to get away from the law.

If this is what soapland prison does to you, I think its justice system needs a shake-up. Stick with this one, though, because it is the build-up to a dramatic end for four characters.

In Casualty, Charlie Fairhead finally won my respect by sticking up for Sam after he became panto villain Nathan's latest victim.

It was a busy shift for the A&E staff at Holby thanks to a pub opening gone wrong.

There was a suicide attempt, an assault and some woman who decided to stick with her husband because he had a stroke even though they had already agreed they had nothing in common anymore and she had been having an affair.

Finally this week, I'd like to say how satisfying it was to see Danny Baldwin being carted away by the police (hee hee) in Corrie. Leanne Battersby is heroine of the month, and for this I am awarding her a Soap Dish Chuffty Badge.

Revenge is sweet.