Pupils stop blaming the dog when they forget homework

Computers and printers are being blamed regularly, replacing 'the dog ate it, Miss' as favoured fables for not handing in set pieces of work.

But schoolboy and schoolgirl excuses remain as alive and well-worn as ever, according to a survey published at the beginning of September.

The RM School Gate Survey questioned secondary school teachers across the country during the summer term of 2005 in a bid to reveal the truth behind today's homework excuses.

The poll results suggest they are just as cynical about their pupils' prevarication as they ever were. Less than 10 per cent of excuses are believed, even when backed up by a parent's phone call or scribbled note.

Tim Pearson, from RM, which commissioned the survey, said: "Homework excuses have always been as much a part of education as pupils, teachers and lessons themselves, so in many ways I find it reassuring that the time honoured excuses that I used to rely on still prevail!"

Absent homework is rarely the pupil's fault, with younger siblings and parents getting the blame, Tim says.

Reasons beyond the child's control are cited in 79 per cent of excuses, with baby brothers and sisters the common culprits.

Sue Wilson, head of religious education at Weaverham High School, said: "Little brothers with whom pupils perhaps share a room are certainly held responsible on a regular basis.

"In some cases it may genuinely be that the child in question doesn't have a quiet place to work at home, in which case they are invited to attend one of the homework clubs here at the school."

The march of technology carries on regardless, with printer and technical problems overtaking the legendary 'I forgot, Sir' - with 31 per cent of mentions compared to 27 per cent.

'I left it at home somewhere' is not far behind, with 21 per cent.

Helen Farrer, who teaches history, PE and religious studies at Rudheath High School, said: "I have to say that in 21 years as a teacher there can't be many excuses I haven't heard yet.

"Despite what the RM study has found I still think that children do rely on the classic excuses and a high number of pupils will say quite honestly that they have forgotten a piece of work and left it at home.

"It is always obvious who is telling the truth and who blatantly isn't though."

Sue Wilson added: "Blaming computers and printers is certainly the most common explanation I hear."

Mark Wolstencroft, assistant headteacher at Middlewich High School, agreed, saying: "I'm not sure children are necessarily becoming more creative with their reasons for not doing their homework.

"I think you hear a lot more pupils blaming technological hiccups for not handing work in on time because of the different requirements we have of them now.

"They are not always asked to provide homework on a piece of paper - they may have to prepare a PowerPoint presentation for example - which means that using their faltering computer as an excuse becomes more likely."

The RM survey found a striking contrast in the imaginative alibis offered by girls compared to boys.

With the latter more likely to shrug and complain 'it was too hard, Sir' and appear unfazed by the likely consequences of such flaky application, girls turned to elaborate stories with such gems as: 'I was in a car crash and got taken to hospital' and 'I left it in Ireland when visiting my gran'.

This has not necessarily been the experience of teachers in mid Cheshire though.

Sue said: "I don't think there is much difference between what boys and girls say when they haven't completed a piece of work.

"Boys generally may be a little bit lazier and write less than girls, but their excuses don't differ all that much."

Indeed, according to the poll, boys offer a greater volume of possible pitfalls - 73 per cent compared to 14 per cent - even if their creativity doesn't stretch as far as their female classmates.

It appears tomorrow's school kids are going to have to reinvent the art form.

Tim concluded: "In today's paperless world the preferred 'my dog ate it' will need to commute into something more along the lines of 'lightning struck our house and my PC shorted out'."

Don't give them any ideas Tim...

The Guardian has compiled its own top 10 creative gems which should be lauded for their sheer audacity. In no particular order, and taken from mid Cheshire teachers' contributions and from the RM School Gate Survey:

1. I left my disk in the laptop and my dad uses it for work

2. I didn't have time to do it because I had to go to the Westlife concert last night

3. My snake was sleeping on it

4. It was ripped through my hands as the express train shot through the station

5. It's currently on a plane to New Zealand

6. My dad made me go and watch the United game

7. I've brought the wrong book because it's the same colour as my Maths one

8. We're moving house at the moment and I can't find it

9. My dad took it with him on a business trip to Denmark

And finally, the best of the bunch and a genuine contribution to the survey revealing a dark side to absent homework:

10. My mum tore it up as it included my uncle who she hates on the family tree