The agony

and ecstasy

of being

in love ..

K matron

MATRON - the Knutsford Guardian's agony aunt - was a no-nonsense, practical sort of woman.

Each week she set the worries of the town's housewives and their daughters to rest with solutions to their problems.

Her wisdom knew no bounds and she was amply qualified to tackle the tawdry dilemmas of bread-making to the trauma of getting rid of freckles.

But her speciality was the distressful task of dealing with men - be them shy, boring, inattentive or even despicable.

"Women do not really care for the brutal 'he-man' outside the lids of novels," she wrote in 1937.

"They should be strong in physique and character but gentle where women, children and animals are concerned."

Despite this strength, it appears that many Knutsford men were timid, leaving the town's girls in a constant state of frustration.

Matron warned one reader who signed herself 'In Love' not to pursue a boy in a desperate bid for attention.

Instead 'In Love' was told to wait for the man to make a move.

Women proposing to their boyfriends was strictly prohibited.

"I should never advise a girl to propose outright excepting in unusual circumstances," Matron told Corrine in 1939.

"After all it is the man who is the breadwinner so therefore it is his place to make a proposal of marriage."

There were just two exceptions to this strict rule in Matron's eyes - if an older woman was frightened of becoming a spinster or it was a leap year.

Desperate older women could introduce the subject of marriage in conversation to prod their 'laggard lover' in the right direction - but it had to be subtle.

"If a woman is too forward, a man is likely to run a mile," Matron warned.

Marriage proposals were off limits, but Matron allowed one reader, named Mae, to send a Christmas card to the boy of her dreams.

"I think you could send him a Christmas card without cheapening yourself," she said.

But such liberal attitudes only stretched so far and Matron didn't tolerate the freedom craved by one Knutsford woman.

Guardian reader Ellen wanted to attend the town dance while her fiance was out of town on business.

But her sweetheart had forbidden her to go out.

What should she do?

"I think you should respect his wishes," said Matron. "It is a small sacrifice to make."

No doubt poor Ellen was left sewing in front of hearth instead of tripping the light fantastic with her pals.

But maybe it was just as well because it seems Knutsford women didn't always have their friends' best interests at heart.

In 1938 Matron set a 20-year-old girl straight about what to do about the appalling behaviour of her friend.

"What a dog in a manger your friend must be when she tries so hard to annex any boy who seems inclined to pay you attention," she said.

"A girl of this type is a 'scalp hunter' and no friend to you."

The advice wasn't solely confined to girly talk and she occasionally offered men glimpses into the workings of the female psyche.

Matron's reply to a reader's letter from Rob Roy illustrated the perfect way to woo an ice-maiden on a train.

"Offer her your newspaper or ask if she would like the carriage window closed," she suggested.

"If her reply is not too chilly you might venture a remark about the weather.

"Once the ice is broken you can travel in the same carriage every morning and improve the acquaintance steadily."

Despite such subtle gentleness required to handle women, Matron occasionally admitted that men were fragile and more likely to feel the cold.

"One sees more women than men bathers in the depths of winter and women can usually stay in the water longer than men," she said.

"We, of course, have more chance of hardening our skins with the low-necked, short-sleeved garments which Dame Fashion allows."

Such tough skin would hardly be appealing to men but Matron's advice column was full of beauty tips to compensate.

Jill, a reader with fat lips, was told to exercise her mouth daily, while in February 1940 Matron devised a workout for a reader with a neck that was too thin.

But all such endeavours to attract men may have been a waste of time.

One reader called Robina pleaded with Matron to explain why a young man who seemed to like her had suddenly disappeared without a farewell.

In her typical style, the Knutsford Guardian's agony aunt didn't mince words.

"If he went away without saying goodbye I can only conclude that he wasn't interested."

Converted for the new archive on 13 March 2001. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.