TRUST is all that Ivy Moore expects in a friend.

The charismatic Knutsfordian has acted as confidante to many over the years and listened to all their secrets and problems.

"Friends are there for you when you need help and you can confide in them," she said.

"When one of my close friends died I could have written a book about her life because I knew her so well."

Like many children, Ivy believed her friends would be together forever, but life has taken them in different directions.

Some of the 68-year-old's closest companions have died, but all live on in her memory.

"I had a friend who lived life in her shell, but I was the leader of the pack and outgoing," said Ivy, of Boothfields.

"She is still in my thoughts and sometimes I think she drew strength from me although I did not realise it at the time."

Psychologist Dr David Holmes says some of the best friendships spring from the unlikeliest of unions.

"Friends can be complementary because they show you the other side of life," he said.

"They are the lively ones who drag you out to a party even though you would rather stay in and watch a film."

Personalities can clash, but as people age they can learn to love those they once did not even like.

But most friends have something in common and have shared experiences.

For Rachel Burgess and Wendy Jackson the traumas of growing up brought them together.

The former Knutsford schoolgirls spotted a familiar face at Leeds University when they started their degree courses.

"It made it easier for the first few weeks when we did not know anybody," said Wendy, of Holmes Chapel.

At university they always found time for each other even when they had boyfriends.

When they both eventually graduated, they also believed they had gained a friend for life.

"It is not difficult to stay in touch with a real friend because it does not take much to pick up the phone," said Rachel, of Lower Peover.

Although the graduates hit it off many struggle to find companions.

Dr Holmes, who lectures at Manchester Metropolitan University, said some preferred to be alone.

They find jobs where they can spend time by themselves and will not seek out friendship away from work.

"They lack something that the rest of us have and that is empathy and interest in people," he said.

Others crave the attention of friends and 'show off' in the same way they did as children in front of their parents.

"It is a theatrical relationship," said Dr Holmes. "These people act out their lives and their friends are their audience.

"But they are actually quite lonely."

Friendship is not always an easy thing to develop and a moment's hesitation can mean a chance is lost.

But the briefest encounter can be enough to develop a bond between two people.

Commuters at a train station will often acknowledge each other if they meet in another situation because they have developed a 'friendship.'

"When people have shared a bus ride and then bump into each other round the corner they might nod their head," said Dr Holmes.

For others it can be a struggle to relate to peers and they feel more comfortable with older people.

"It could go back to childhood when they were close to an older relative and so they feel more comfortable with older people," said Dr Holmes.

Jealousy and envy can destroy relationships, but trust is essential to make it work.

But Dr Holmes believes it is possible to learn to like someone.

"There has to be a balance," he said. "Either both people are sensitive, both are robust or jokey," he said.

Once the chemistry is right, conversation flows and friends feel confident in each other's company.

Studies have shown there is a deeper understanding and fewer pauses in conversation.

Study a video recording and as someone stops to draw breath, the others in the group will use the opportunity to switch positions so they do not interrupt the flow.

"It is like musical scores," said Dr Holmes.

"But if there is someone trying to control the conversation it is more like they are trying to batter each other at a game of tennis."

The difficulty of meeting a friend make it an achievement and it is often something people want to commemorate.

School reunions tend to be organised by the 'prime movers' in a group. Others do it because they value their old chums.

Rachel and Wendy have organised school reunions in the past, but believe there are three types of friend.

The casual acquaintance is the one you would say hello to in the street.

Others you would socialise with - but not share secrets and personal problems.

"A best friend is someone close to you and knows everything about you," said Rachel.

"It is important to have a mix of them all."

Dr Holmes believes the 21-year-olds' attitudes will probably change as they get older.

He said the values people sought in a person at 60 differed to those they looked for at 16.

"As a teenager people are always replaceable, but old people become a little more discriminating," he said.

Dr Holmes claimed people lost the motivation to make friends as they got older - and the skills.

Not so, says former Knutsford Town Mayor Hilda Gates, of Warren Avenue.

The Co-operative Women's Guild organiser said there were many in Knutsford who actively sought friendship in the town.

She said their oldest member was 98 and still made the effort almost every week to see her companions.

But Hilda's best friend is Jack, her husband of 50 years.

"A friend is someone who listens and is always there for you," she said.

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