I AM a grandmother, approximately the same age as these grandparents, who find themselves in this heartbreaking situation.

My grandchildren are all grown-up. My eldest has alittle girl of two years - my first great-grandchild. Three others are or have been studying at Leeds and Cambridge Universities respectively, two of which have gained employment with International Computer Companies. Two are Managers with a well-known national super-store. one is an Area Manager with a 'Care in the Comunity' Company. Each one is an achiever, but most of all they are happy in what they are doing. I am very proud in the knowledge that, to some extent, as a grand-parent I have influenced and supported them to meet their aspirations and ambitions.

If these grand-parent take my advice, for what it's worth, no matter how heartendering and traumatic it now appears, is to 'let go' of their grandchild and allow her to enjoy being brought up in a loving caring environment, but still be involved, as grand-parents, being there for her, giving her all the support, love and care she needs, and one day, hopefully, they will stand back and look on with pride of the role they have played in her future.

It goes without saying that everyone has been touched by the pain and agony they have and are still suffering, but if they can see it in their hearts to recognise that the needs and happiness of their grandchild is paramount, then they too will become achievers, bonded forever and maybe in later years the grandchild will respect and lovethem, evenmore, for making the decision to 'let go' with dignity.

God Bless them both in whatever they decide.

'A proud grandmother'

Converted for the new archive on 13 March 2001. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.