THE Saturday night TV schedules continue to provide every encouragement for viewers to make a trip to the video shop or the pub.

Last weekend, for example, BBC1 revisited the glorified pub quiz that is Test The Nation, fronted by the twin terrors of Anne Robinson and Phillips Schofield.

Annie left behind the scowling Weakest Link persona and turned up in a shiny purple outfit that did her no favours at all. Jolly Pip Schofield bounded around in a frock coat that was no doubt borrowed from celebrity guest Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen.

The quiz pitted teams from various professiona against each other - although I'm not sure being a celebrity really counts as a profession, but then neither does 'domestic goddess', another of the categories represented. Not unexpectedly, the Examiners team came out top, with the estate agents languishing at the foot of the table (not such a desirable location!).

The script was awash with unfunny stereotypical comment, and I could not believe it when Clarissa, the 'fat lady' cook, received a round of applause for reciting her own name. Is this what TV has come to?

Surely things couldn't get any worse? Then I switched over to ITV1 and caught the end of the Junior Eurovision Song Contest British final.

Hosted by Mark Durden-Smith, the man with no neck and no charisma, and Tara T-P, who was almost wearing no dress, this aberration gave airtime to the sort of precocious showbiz brats that you would put up for adoption if they were yours.

The presenters delivering the results of votes from around the regions were a typical bunch - a succession of decorative females (including Laura from the last series of Pop Idol) interspersed with 'pretty boy' males, like Giles Double-Barrell Surname from the East/South East region.

The eventual winner was a little chubby mini-Gareth Gates called Tom Morley, who will represent us in the contest on November 15 in Copenhagen.

He can't do much worse than his adult counterparts in Jemini, who managed to notch up no points at all earlier this year.

SOAP POSER:

I'M surprised Nick Tilsley has left behind Canada for Weatherfield again. He must have felt at home among all that wood.

BITE-SIZE FAME-IDOL:

JUST what does the Fame Academy panel consider is innovative about the annoying 'jack in a box' contestant Peter? Daft lads who think jumping around and shouting a lot makes a pop performance have been around since the Sixties, doing it an awful lot better. I'm just waiting for the day when the public vote him out, leaving the judges with egg on their faces. Over at Pop Idol, Pete Waterman worked himself into a lather questioning the inclusion of contestants with less than ideal 'images' into the final 50. Simon Cowell may have his critics, but his refusal to ditch people with great voices just because of their dress size is commendable. They won't all turn out like Rik Waller - hopefully!