CORONATION STREET - HYPOCRITE of the week had to be Sally, the queen of extra-marital affairs, calling daughter Rursie a slapper for transforming into a Goth.

Earlier, Sally had shunned the advances of her boss Ian by exclaiming "But we're both married!" Well, that's never stopped you before, has it Sal?

You have to feel sorry for her, though, especially when she lets herself be forced into an affair to save herself getting the sack.

But not as sorry as I feel for her hen-pecked husband, Kevin, who may have cheated on Sally in the past, but whose only real mistake in life was once growing a moustache.

EASTENDERS

LYING Zoe is to end up in a passionate embrace with minging Moon number 1 Jake.

Yes, that's the same Zoe who is so obsessed with Dennis she proclaimed to be having his baby to keep him.

But if you think it seems a bit unlikely she would have eyes for anybody else, just remember she is also the same Zoe who is about to jump into bed with Dirty Den.

Bizarre.

CASUALTY

HE'S appeared in Dynasty, The Colbys, Beverley Hills 90210 - and who could forget Grease 2? (probably best if you do).

But now, Maxwell Caulfield, to me, will always be Casualty's heroic doctor Jim Brodie - the man who gave his life to save another.

It was like a scene from The Towering Inferno as Jim hung from a crumbling bridge that could have led to his safety.

It's just a shame annoying European wench Ellen wasn't attached to him when he jumped.

EMMERDALE

SO, it turns out that Steph didn't murder Shelley after all.

Apparently she only tied her up and left her on the moor - as if that makes her any less evil.

I mean, let's face it, Alan Turner would never have left that bed if she had had her way.