Steven Hallmark

I want my money back.

Well, if I had spent any money on this I would want it back.

I was promised Brazilian supermodels 'nacking off'. I understood that meant getting naked but I must have been wrong, because they don't.

The whole concept of this film is ideally pitched for the lads' mag readers: you have fast cars and bikini-clad models - what more do you need?

A couple of charismatic leads might have been nice.

Queen Latifah (previous credits Barbershop 2 and Scary Movie 3) as the sexy cab driver and Jimmy Fallon as the wise-cracking cop who needs her help to catch a team of bank robbers means we are on to a loser already.

Now if Beyonce and Mike Myers were in the film instead it would have been slightly less rubbish. Still rubbish though.

The most amazing thing about this is that it was given a 15 rating despite having one (faecal matter-related) swear word, no real violence, no sex scenes, no drug use and no nudity.

Very strange.

On the positive side the two funny things in this film were Ann-Margret as Fallon's alcoholic mother and the line: "You open the door, I don't want to get Daewoo on my hands."

But it's still better than The Transporter and Torque.