EVER bitten your lip in the face of ignorance? Well it hurts! So much so, that TV's favourite comedy toff, Will Smith, has written a comedy about it. His show 10 Arguments I Should Have Won sees Smith revisit battles, settle scores and lay ghosts to rest. It's at Pyramid on April 22 and tickets are available from 01925 442345.

A MUSICAL Theatre event is coming to Manchester on Sunday, April 24, to raise funds for charity. Tickets are available from 0870 401 6000.

TONY Wendice (Steven Pinder, Brookside) is a retired tennis star who married Sheila for her money. When it seems she is in love with another man, Tony begins to plot her murder. He enlists a hired killer but a question mark hangs over who is murdered. Dial M for Murder is at the Chester Gateway Theatre until April 23. Tickets are available from 01244 340392.

LESLEY Joseph stars as the eccentric Mrs Meers in Thoroughly Modern Millie, the story of a young girl from Kansas who travels to New York in search of a new life for herself during the Roaring 20s. It's at the Palace Theatre until April 30 and tickets are available from 0870 401 6000.

DAVE Spikey is at Stoke's Victoria Hall on April 29. For tickets call 0870 060 6649.

SATIN 'n' Steel by Amanda Whittington is a new, music-filled romantic comedy about making it big in clubland - Phoenix Nights meets Fame Academy. It's at the Octagon Theatre, Bolton, until April 30. For tickets call 01204 520661.

FIREGIRL is a production for children aged eight and upwards at the Chester Gateway, on April 26. Tickets are available from 01244 340392.

AN audience with former Government minister Mo Mowlam will be hosted in Runcorn on April 29. Tickets are available from The Brindley box office on 0151 907 8360.

THE all male company - Propeller - return to the Lowry with Shakespeare's A Winter's Tale from April 26 to 30. It is a fairy story of tragedy, comedy and mystery with a magical ending full of hope. For tickets call 0870 7875793.

TIM Firth's fast-moving comedy The Safari Party is served up by Manchester's Library Theatre Company until May 14. A delicious, occasionally dark comedy from the scriptwriter of the Calendar Girls. Tickets are available from 0161 236 7110.

HOW The Grinch Stole My Virginity will be staged by Strange Roads Theatre Company at Pyramid on April 29. Raven is a stripper with attitude, struggling with her dependency on men. Prudish Dr Neely is the psychiatrist who takes her on. As the barriers come down both women reach their sexual liberation. For tickets call 442345.