Mel O Neill, from Penketh, has been living with cancer for more than a decade.
She writes a regular column for the Warrington Guardian.
Only in the last few months have I accepted the magnitude of the cards that I’ve been dealt in the last 11 years. Whilst in the thick of dealing with the aggressive inflammatory breast cancer having become incurable stage IV after spreading to my skin, I lived in fear as I watched my skin on my upper body rot.
With every chemo that worked shrinking the ugly scabs on my chest I realised it was only a matter of time before the chemo would become resistant to the cancer as the scabs started to grow again.
My emotional state was all over the place, happy one minute yet sad and frightened the next as I ventured through the after effects of a car crash and brain injury along with chemotherapy side effects.
Losing hope often, I’d bend over backwards doing everything and anything I knew to restore it. I needed hope constantly on a drip, never losing it for long I’d search frantically for holistic ways to heal cancer as well as reading more and more on how to ease the pain in my head and heart that I may never see my children grow into adults.
There are too many names to name each person individually who have helped me along the way, every single one loving me unconditionally allowing me to realise my worth.
Having been told it can come back at anytime, my cancer remains asleep after 10 years of chemotherapy, 11 years with cancer and over a year free of chemo and cancer.
From my point of view alone I honestly don’t think I would be as happy and content as I am today without cancer coming to make me realise the importance of life and how to live it more fulfilling.
I cry all the time now at the slightest little thing, happy tears more often than not, for the things I am getting to experience that I feared I may never see. It’s the little things like my kids phoning me excited to tell me their achievements. I am there to answer the phone and share their joy.
Laughing with friends in my garden, I am there to make this happen. Dancing the night away and losing my voice going to concerts I never thought I’d get the opportunity to. Watching my garden bloom, laughing till it hurts with my husband, teaching my kids about loving what they do, knowing their own worth and how life is only ever what you make it and how fear steals lifes precious moments from us unknowingly so try hard to never let fear consume you but instead changing your perseption in order for something to work to your advantage.
All the above I know I would not be doing right now had I not gone through the pain I’ve endured since 2011. Maybe it is I that have chosen now that the cancer is dormant to change my perspective on the cards I’ve been dealt and appreciate the life I am able to live and experiences I am able to make as I continue daily to be more than grateful as I pinch myself often to know that even the same things in life I am still here to appreciate, the bad things I now learn from and the more grounded, contented person I have become.
I have gained so much much through my pain with a confidence I never had before to be able to share this perspective with others. Happy Weekend to you all.
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