HAVING children is like signing a contract with your subconscious to feel guilty at every opportunity.

Before children you can pretty much do as you please.

But once the little people start moving into your house you're suddenly drowning under an infinite number of responsibilities.

Like most people, for most of my life I've enjoyed sitting in front of the telly with a tray of food on my lap.

But now the children are here Louise and I feel this terrible guilt if we don't sit at the dining table and discuss the day's events while we eat.

Of course Matthew's contribution doesn't go much beyond 'googoo ga-ga', and Emily's response to questions about her day at school consists of 'I can't remember'. But that's not the point.

And we feel guilty if we leave the television on too long. Sometimes it's necessary to leave the children in front of it if you're trying to get jobs done, and sometimes they genuinely want to watch it. But the guilt factor always kicks in and so off goes the set.

There's also the guilt of: are we reading the right books, giving them the right food, letting them mix with the right people, visiting the right places?

It's enough to cause a nervous breakdown.

It's a symptom of the world we live in, where everything is scrutinised, where health and safety frowns on everything, where the PC-brigade monitors everything you say and in the future more than likely everything you think as well.

It really helps to talk with other parents, as more often than not they're experiencing the same anxieties.

A case in point. Since Matthew was born last July, I've been feeling guilty that I've not done quite as much videoing of him as I did after Emily, our first child, was born.

Admittedly, the video camera was a novelty when I captured Emily's first few months as it was a new purchase.

Since then I've learned to reserve the camera for milestone events, such as birthdays, Christmas and holidays. Just so that I don't drown under miles and miles of footage that need transferring to tape.

I mentioned this to a friend last week and he said the same thing happened to him and his wife when their second son was born.

He eased my conscience when he said that you can never give your undivided attention to one child once number two comes along. You just have to accept it and move on.

It doesn't mean we don't love the second child any less.

There, I feel a little less guilty now.