Mel O Neill is a mum of two from Penketh who has had breast cancer for more than a decade.

She writes a regular blog for the Warrington Guardian

It has been 16 months now since my last chemotherapy session and no sign of cancer anywhere in my skin or my body.

I would love to say I always knew that something would come along and work for me by putting the cancer to sleep so I could finally get on with my life but I’d be lying.

On National Reminiscing Day (there’s a day for everything now) I am writing a blog remembering all the many times I broke down on many different people, some friends, some family, some well wishers and even some strangers, reduced to tears as consumed with fear that cancer would take my life and my funeral was around the corner.

Recalling the many times I was taken off my failing chemotherapy and put onto another one of many to try, consumed with fear yet holding onto a thread of hope that this “new” regime may send me into remission, I took blow after blow as each one eventually failed.

After Mother’s Day I would like to take this opportunity to honour all those who have lost their mums and all those mums who have lost their child.

As the day approached they would have been feeling their loss and pain intensified. I can only imagine their grief as I thought my kids would suffer my loss too on days like this and was torn apart by this thought, but thank God it was only a thought clearly reminding me of how the mind rules the body and how my worries were unjustified.

My kids were always and always will be my priority as I strived to create normality in their life with the help of my husband and parents.

I am eternally grateful for all the love and support network I have around me that have (and still have) getting me through my dark days.

As I continue to receive life’s blows, accepting my partially blind diagnosis and being unable to drive no more, my memory loss and brain fog, persisting with my mouth ulcer pain and watery eye condition and persevering with my swollen, lymphoedema in my right arm and hand, I know that nothing in the world will ever be as enormously heart wrenching as the fear of leaving my kids to grow up without a mum. As I give my head a wobble I realise that none of these things threatens my life and I realise that life’s not so bad after all.

Because this year I have grabbed life with both hands and thrown myself into achieving things I love to do like poetry, more writing, makeup lessons and skincare and I can happily say it has changed my life. I am so much more content, fulfilled, confident and empowered learning slowly how to accept compliments because I feel I am earning them by choice not because of circumstance.

As I was completely and utterly overwhelmed to be listed as one of Warrington’s Inspirational Women on International Women’s Day on March 8 (remembered because it’s lands on my birthday) I felt honoured, humbled yet proud of my achievement in wanting to write about my experiences to help others.

Being living proof of “life is what you make it” having been through a very dark time, I am able to inspire others including my children which always reduces me to tears..happy tears though.

Life continues to throw worries and obstacles my way like a recent skin cancer scare that was dealt with immediately, leaving me relieved and reassured I need worry no more on the matter and Covid interrupting my latest treatment regime for my lymphoedema arm after completing two of the three week course but it’s ok. I’m ok. Life is good and I must remember never to forget that.

So as I reminisce on this day recounting the bad times, I choose to remember all the good too and the love and support that helped get me where I am today knowing things could change at anytime (like a recent health scare taught me) and how I must live in the now continuing to remain more present as my wonderful friend and secondary sister (we both have secondary breast cancer) Nikki Jane recently reminded me.