MY text stalker made a comeback - at 3am on Friday while I was away on a course.

My mobile was on the bedside table because I'd set the alarm so I'd wake up in the morning.

Naturally, I was fast asleep when the bloody thing beeped, waking me.

At first I thought it was time to get up, but quickly realised it was dark and I had received a text.

"If your not the one. Daniel bedingfield. Listen to it. Please! E." Spelling is stalker's not mine!

I was so cross I could have strangled her. Yes it is a her I have confirmation!

Of course, I then struggled to get back to sleep as I never sleep well in hotel rooms.

The next morning I texted back: "Hope ive woken u up like u did me last nite (apologies for the terrible English) Im not dave u dont know me so stop textin me".

Well that did it, stalker then went for it.

Saturday - 3.17am: "U did not wake me and piss me off. Hope this wakes u."

Fortunately, I had left my phone downstairs so she didn't wake me.

Then she got seriously deluded, at 3.29am: "And dont deny its u. If not who i think then call me at 2pm tomorrow and talk 2 me and tell me its not dave and i will delete number and not bug u again. No fone then know its u and ur still pissed off with me and will keep txting u. X.

I can only assume that by now she's had a few and is feeling particularly maudlin over Dave as finally at 3.34am there was: "My fave song on magic now".

So that did it, I rang her. She didn't have much to say and didn't even bother apologising.

But I left her in no doubt how I felt and she now knows once and for all that I'm not Dave!

If that doesn't do the trick - the phone's history!