WHERE is Peter Snow when you really need him?
His patented swing-o-meter could have devised just the right parliamentary numbers required to produce the one combination which left no one party in overall control after the General Election.
Enough of a bizarre permutation with the Scottish Nationalists in the mix, but scotched their hopes of a second independence vote, so they can’t hold the rest of the union to ransom.
Screw the rabid Brexiteers in the Tory ranks, blind to our cash-starved hospitals and schools, and sufficiently spike the guns of the pseudo-Marxists pulling Comrade Corbyn’s strings. One can dream.
Meanwhile shudder at the Hobson’s Choice being placed before the electorate and wonder where it all went so wrong for Britain.
Prime Minister Theresa May, whose new role as Brexit cheerleader-in-chief conveniently glosses over the omnishambles she presided on her previous watch as home secretary, with swingeing cuts to police numbers, a factor not easily forgotten in these terror-shadowed times.
Whose odd facial tics and awful body language when challenged over the least little thing make your soul shrivel, when you consider she could shortly be our potential negotiator with 27 other EU nations.
Or Jeremy Corbyn, that nice old geography teacher who may have appeared slightly less swivel-eyed than cold-fish May these past few weeks.
But who can’t shake the general consensus that he’s so well up on terrorists because he spent a large portion of the 80s and 90s palling around with such ‘freedom fighters’. Don’t mention anti-Semitism or nuclear deterrents either.
Leaving all this aside, and risking sounding like a broken record/corrupt MP3, Podium is going to echo an earnest ‘snowflake’ plea from 2015, with a twist.
Whoever lights your candle, whether it’s the Conservatives, Labour, Lib Dems, Ukip, Greens or any of the minority parties, make your vote count today. And that goes double for any younger elector reading this missive via our Facebook or Twitter feeds.
No-one wants to wake up on Friday and hear the turnout was only in the mid-50s, percentage-wise, so similar recriminations to the Referendum are then cranked out.
If there are stuttering steps towards a greater political consciousness among empowered pre-millennials, now’s the time to shine and produce a result which could be said to be truly representative of a clear majority of Britons.
Maybe afterwards, even if your side was victorious, being somewhat magnanimous may be the order of the day. Sit down and ponder what it was about your idols which may have appeared outrageous and unreasonable to bitter opponents.
Because any hopes of forging a brighter future can only blossom with flickers of tolerance and understanding. Not relinquishing ideals or beliefs but evolving from the asinine, egocentric playground banter of Twitter or the moral cowardice of anonymous below-the-line commentary. Grown-up politics.
Intolerance is what the proponents of the two London and one Manchester atrocity thrive upon. Question everything still – but at least be prepared to listen and inwardly digest the answers.
PS Theresa May, in the London Bridge attacks aftermath, told us: “Terrorism breeds terrorism.” Incisive and insightful.
Not really touching on the power vacuum our adventures in Iraq, Syria and Libya have engendered.
For the sixth time I’ll be dosing up on Lucozade tablets, Doritos and machine coffee tonight to report on General Election results from across the north west, all part of my love-hate relationship with those who inhabit the corridors of power (or broom cupboards of broken dreams). See you on the other side.
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